Confessions of a Literary Streetwalker: Howdy!

I'm thrilled to have another one of my Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker pieces up on the excellent Erotica Readers And Writers site - here's a tease ... for the rest just click here.

Howdy

While it isn't the most important thing to do before sending off a story (that's reserved for writing the story itself), drafting an effective cover letter/email is probably right below it.

So here is a quick sample of what to do and NOT when putting together a cover letter to go with your story. That being said, remember that I'm just one of many (many) editors out there, each with their own quirks and buttons to push. Like writing the story itself, practice and sensitivity is will teach you a lot, but this will give you a start.

So ... Don't Do What Bad Johnny Don't Does:

Dear M. (1),

Here is my story (2) for your collection (3), it's about a guy and a girl who fall in love on the Titanic (4). I haven't written anything like this before (5), but your book looked easy enough to get into (6). My friends say I'm pretty creative (7). Please fill out and send back the enclosed postcard (8). If I have not heard from you in two months (9) I will consider this story rejected and send it somewhere else (10). I am also sending this story to other people. If they want it, I'll write to let you know (11).

I noticed that your guidelines say First North American Serial rights. What's that (12)? If I don't have all rights then I do not want you to use my story (13).

I work at the DMV (14) and have three cats named Mumbles, Blotchy and Kismet (15).

Mistress Divine (16)
Gertrude@christiansciencemonitor.com (17)

(1) Don't be cute. If you don't know the editor's name, or first name, or if the name is real or a pseudonym, just say "Hello" or "Editor" or somesuch.

(2) Answer the basic questions up front: how long is the story, is it original or a reprint, what's the title?

(3) What book are you submitting to? Editors often have more than one open at any time and it can get very confusing. Also, try and know what the hell you're talking about: a 'collection' is a book of short stories by one author, an 'anthology' is a book of short stories by multiple authors. Demonstrate that you know what you're submitting to.

(4) You don't need to spell out the plot, but this raises another issue: don't submit inappropriate stories. If this submission was to a gay or lesbian book, it would result in an instant rejection and a ticked-off editor.

(5) The story might be great, but this already has you pegged as a twit. If you haven't been published before don't say anything, but if you have then DEFINITELY say so, making sure to note what kind of markets you've been in (anthology, novel, website and so forth). Don't assume the editor has heard of where you've been or who you are, either. Too often I get stories from people who list a litany of previous publications that I've never heard of. Not that I need to, but when they make them sound like I should it just makes them sound arrogant. Which is not a good thing.

(6) Gee, thanks so much. Loser.

(7) Friends, lovers, Significant Others and so forth -- who cares?

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Philosophy

Coming Up This Month: Tit-Torture For Boobs - A Breast Play Intensive

(From M.Christian's Classes And Appearances)

Check it out, folks: if you've ever wanted to attend my (ahem) rather 'infamous' Tit-Torture For Boobs: A Breast Play Intensive it's coking up this month, on July 18th, at the Citadel in San Francisco.

Here's the info:

M.Christian Presents: Tit-Torture For Boobs - A Breast Play Intensive




Thursday, July 18, 2013 · 8:00 PM –10:00 PM 

SF Citadel Community Center
181 Eddy Street, San Francisco

Cost: $20 at door, $15 in advance - click here for advanced ticket purchase

Breast play offers wonderful opportunities for intensely powerful play - but also comes with serious, even dangerous, risks.

In this breasts-on seminar, participants will learn how to treat tits, both male and female, with exactly the right measure of sensuality and intensity to play well but also safely.

Clothespins, nipple clamps, pinching, suction devices, gentle impact, bondage, and more will be demonstrated - as well as how to deliver effective aftercare. Additionally, participants will be given instruction in first aid, the dangers of breast play, and the limits of what boobs can take.

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M.Christian has been an active participant in the San Francisco BDSM scene since 1988, and has been a featured presenter at the Northwest Leather Celebration, smOdyssey, the Center For Sex and Culture, The National Sexuality Symposium, QSM, San Francisco Sex Information, The Citadel, The Looking Glass, The Society of Janus, The Floating World, Winter Solstice, and lots of other venues. He has taught classes on everything from impact play, tit torture, bondage, how to write and sell erotica, polyamory, cupping, caning, and basic SM safety.

M.Christian is also a recognized master of BDSM erotica with more than 400 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and many other anthologies, magazines, and other sites; editor of 2t anthologies such as the Best S/M Erotica series, Pirate Booty, My Love For All That Is Bizarre: Sherlock Holmes Erotica, and more; the collections Dirty Words, The Bachelor Machine, Love Without Gun Control, Rude Mechanicals, and more; and the novels Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Me2, Finger's Breadth, Brushes, and Painted Doll. His site is www.mchristian.com

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THANKS To All Those Who Came Out To "Meet The Editors"

(from M.Christian's Classes And Appearances)

Thanks to all who came out on Saturday the 29th for the "Meet The Editors" digital event to hear myself, Sascha Illyvich and Jean Marie Stine talk about erotica writing, marketing, publicity and so many other fun topics!

For those who, alas, couldn't make it, the entire event will be soon available through CreativeSexuality.org

Welcome To Weirdsville: The Imitation Of Those Who We Cannot Resemble

(from M.Christian's Meine Kleine Fabrik)

This is very, very cool: a brand new Welcome To Weirsville piece I wrote just went up on the excellent The Cud site.  

Here's a tease below - and, of course, if you want to read more pieces about fun and odd and strange and (yep) weird history check out my book Welcome To Weirdsville

The Imitation Of Those Who We Cannot Resemble

Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those who we cannot resemble. –Samuel Johnson

"Stop fidgeting, everyone ... Jimmy, that'd better not be gum in your mouth!  No, Betty you can't go to the bathroom – you should have thought of that before we started ... now you'll just have to wait for the break.  Okay, class, today we're going to be discussing possibly one of – if not the -- most important literary figures of the twentieth century: a woman who pretty much single handedly created what we consider to be modern literature..."

It's quite sad, really, that so many of us have had the juices systematically squeezed out of history, reducing it to nothing but powdery, gagging facts and bland, pasty figures – or, even worse, giants carved in marble, hands on hips, forever steadfastly glaring out at us in the future, their destinies unquestionable.

But, believe me, do some digging and there's juice a plenty in those dusty heroes – and while many of them certainly deserve to be on their lofty pedestals you'll quickly learn that more than a few of them might be wonderfully, delightfully, fun ... if not totally nuts.

Sarah Bernhardt, for instance, the legendary light of the stage, not only had a wooden leg, liked to sleep in her coffin, but also had quite a few ... involvements, shall we say, with people such as Victor Hugo and Gustavo Doré; Tycho Brahe, one of the brightest stars in astronomy not only had a fake metal nose (having lost his original in a duel) but kept an on-staff dwarf for the entertainment of his guests as well as himself; Richard Feynman, a Nobel Prize to his name, was an notorious humorist and prankster -- as well as quite the established cracksman, even claiming to have once easily got into the safe containing the plans for the first atomic bomb; Georges Simenon, the master French mystery author, not wrote over 200 novels but also claimed to have made love to 10,000 women; and let's not even get started on what M.Christian likes to do with balloon animals...

Which takes us to 1910, back when Britain quite literally ruled the waves: the time of what has been called by many to be the date of the greatest prank in all of history ... and the literary light who had a major part in it.

Now pranks were nothing new, especially for students of Cambridge, but this one – orchestrated by the infamously witty Horace de Vere Cole – set the bar.  Horace tried afterward to top himself several times afterward, including infamously dumping horse ... leavings in the canals in Venice (to confuse the non-horse city residents), or arranging a group of bald men to sit in strategic places at the theater so that their domes, when viewed from the balcony, would spell out a rather (ahem) rude word, but his crowning achievement involved the pride of the British Navy, a few of his close friends, some costuming skills, the flag of Zanzibar, and a brilliant degree of planning – all of which rocked the world and nearly got one of them a sentence of ten of the best with a cane.

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Congratulations!

Reminder: Sizzler Editions & Creative Sexuality Education Presents “Meet The Editors”

(from M.Christian's Classes And Appearances) 

Sizzler Editions & Creative Sexuality Education Presents

“Meet The Editors”

  

Free Live Interactive Web Event
Sat. June 29, 2013
5:00–6:30 pm East Coast time
2:00-3:30 West Coast time

M. Christian

Sascha Illyvich

Jean Marie Stine

Anyone with web access can join-in free from anywhere in the world and participate through microphone, webcam, or text chat. Participants can  get expert guidance from writing professionals – without having to drive to and from a crowded, noisy event facility and with no costly fees.

Current and aspiring writers of erotica, erotic romance, and sexuality-themed nonfiction won’t want to miss this live, interactive, online discussion and Q&A with three highly successful editors/authors, hosted by Sizzler Editions and Creative Sexuality.

Editors M.Christian, Sascha Illyvich, and publisher Jean Marie Stine will provide insight into trends and taboos in the field. They will offer writing tips and tricks, and advice on marketing and promotion of books. In a live, interactive session, they will take and answer questions from those who have logged in for the event.

Participants will:
·  Hear expert advice on formatting, submitting, and publishing your book; Develop and strengthen writing, plot development, and characterization;
·  Learn the most effective ways to market and publicize a book;
·  Have the opportunity to ask questions about the writing and publishing process;
·  Be able to pitch their own erotic story, novel or nonfiction.

All three panelists are writers as well as editors/publishers, with several decades of experience to their credit, and are well-versed in the craft and business of writing. They will address topics and questions such as:
·   Trends in Erotic Romance and Erotica
·   Writing your book
·   Covers
·   Promoting and Publicizing
·   Publishing
…and it these are only some of the issues to be covered in this multifaceted opportunity to interact live over the web with professional editors.

Who will benefit? Anyone who:
·    Is thinking of writing hot romance or erotica.
·    Is writing their first erotic novel, story or work of sexuality-related nonfiction.
·    Has finished writing one or more erotic books, but doesn’t know what to do next.
·    Has questions about the writing process.
·    Has questions about the publishing process (including self-publishing).
·    Is seeking effective ways to publicize and grow readership for their books.
·    Is already published or self-published, but wants to know more about the business and craft of writing erotica.

For further details visit: http://crsex.org/meettheeditors
Or contact: mchristian@sizzlereditions.com
SizzlerEditions.com
CreativeSexuality.org

TWO Classes This Week!

 (from M.Christian's Classes And Appearances)

Just a reminder, folks, that I'm teaching not one but two classes this week.  If you're in the San Francisco Bay Area come down and have a good time!

Creative Sex Play for Good Vibrations (Polk Street), in San Francisco:

Thursday June 20, June 20th: 6:30 PM - 8:30PM

Good Vibrations Polk
San Francisco, CA

Cost: $20.00 at the door (or via Brown Paper Tickets)
Dress code: Whatever makes you comfortable

Even the most experienced sexual adventurer may run short of inspiration. Let M.Christian introduce you to a variety of exciting exercises guaranteed to increase your erotic possibilities and creativity! There are plenty of techniques and sexual worlds to explore - and you can do it safely, both physically and emotionally. Free up your imagination through story-telling and writing exercises. Learn when to silence - and when to listen to - your inner critic. Explore and rediscover your senses! Learn at-home exercises to get in touch with the flow and power of erotic sensation and orgasm via solo and mutual masturbation: exploring your body and erotic potential without shame or fear. Discover the pure joy of sex play and erotic enjoyment when they're laced with laughter, excitement, and wonder.

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Impact Play: Beyond Floggers And Canes at the Citadel, in San Francisco

Tuesday, June 18, 2013: 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM

SF Citadel Community Center
181 Eddy Street, San Francisco

Cost: $20.00 at the door
Dress code: Whatever makes you comfortable

Join this workshop to receive (ahem) 'hands-on' instruction in a wide and sometimes-strange variety of different impact toys hands, hairbrushes, paddles, crops, wooden spoons, batons, quirts, and more. While often the physics of these toys are sometimes closely related, to use each one effectively takes particular skill and techniques that are not immediately apparent. Participants will learn not only how to inflict the most pleasure as well as pain but also how to use each item without hurting the wield-er as well as the wield-ee.

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M.Christian has been an active participant in the San Francisco BDSM scene since 1988, and has been a featured presenter at the Northwest Leather Celebration, smOdyssey, the Center For Sex and Culture, The National Sexuality Symposium, QSM, San Francisco Sex Information, The Citadel, The Looking Glass, The Society of Janus, The Floating World, Winter Solstice, and lots of other venues. He has taught classes on everything from impact play, tit torture, bondage, how to write and sell erotica, polyamory, cupping, caning, and basic SM safety.

M.Christian is also a recognized master of BDSM erotica with more than 400 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and many other anthologies, magazines, and other sites; editor of 2t anthologies such as the Best S/M Erotica series, Pirate Booty, My Love For All That Is Bizarre: Sherlock Holmes Erotica, and more; the collections Dirty Words, The Bachelor Machine, Love Without Gun Control, Rude Mechanicals, and more; and the novels Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Me2, Finger's Breadth, Brushes, and Painted Doll. His site is: www.mchristian.com

Kindle Give-Away! Get Running Dry FREE For Three Days!

(from M.Christian's Queer Imaginings)

This is exceptionally cool: for three days - starting today, May 14th - you can get the special edition of my gay/vampire/erotic thriller Running Dry absolutely FREE for Kindle! 

Just click on this link and you can start reading the brand new, expanded and enhanced, version of the book that will not just turn you on but totally change the way you think about vamps!

Every time he thinks he's found someone, it all goes horrifically wrong.

Manlove classic, first time ever containing the original story, the sequel novel, and a new, never-before-published concluding novella. M.Christian's masterful queer thriller/horror novel is back in print with 20,000 additional words.

He’s immortal. He drinks blood. But he's not a vampire. Doud’s totally unique – a being no one’s ever seen before – and he’s desperately lonely for a lover: a special someone who will not just join him in his bed but his strange life as well. But every time he thinks he's found someone it all goes horrifically wrong.

Then one day a monster from his past returns: a thing of bitterness and fury he believed was long dead. Doud, with his friend Shelly in tow, begins a terrifying chase that begins in Los Angeles and ends in a blistering confrontation in the desert’s baking wastes. There, in the heat and the dust, Doud will confront what he is, what he’s become, his deepest and darkest sexual desires and lusts.

Doud will get what he’s always wanted out of his long, strange life – but it will be nothing that Doud, or you, could ever have imagined!

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"I found Running Dry to be a very good read indeed and especially enjoyed its message. Carpe diem, this story tells us. Love is a rare and wonderful thing; use the time that you have in this life to find it instead of reaching for the unattainable. Because where is the joy in a life lived alone?"
– Book Wenches 

"Let's see. Vampire bites man. Man becomes vampire. The biter and the bitten are in love. Must be a gay vampire novel. But not just another gay vampire novel. RUNNING DRY is, yes, about vampires. Hardcore vampires. Unless they're passing along the vampire gene, they don't just sip blood - they suck out every sweet empowering ounce of a body's bodily fluids, leaving behind but a dusty husk. Christian, author of hundreds of acclaimed short stories and editor of many fine anthologies, has crafted a brisk combo of decades-arcing romance, contemporary suspense thriller, and original horror story - Doud, the vampire longing for the lover he thinks he's lost forever, is a mysterious artist whose every painting is daubed with the blood of victims he's had to kill in order to survive, a spooky kind of homage. This is a rip-roaring read that ought to come with this warning: don't read the last page before starting the first, then devouring the rest. The book's ending is a shocker, as lives end and another begins. Enough said."
-Richard LaBronte 

"If you like fiction with gay themes their presence here is a bonus, but the reason to buy this book is because this book is good." - Emily Veinglory 

"With this impressive debut novel, one of our best short story writers shows why he is tops in his field; this book is fascinating, original, creative and can't be put down till it is finished. I cannot recommend it highly enough."
-Greg Herren, author of Murder In The Rue Dauphine and Bourbon Street Blues

Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker: The Right Word

I'm very proud to have another one of my Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker pieces up on the excellent Erotica Readers And Writers site - and bit thanks to the folks at Erotica For All where the article first appeareed.

The Right Word

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter — it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.
– Mark Twain

No insult to Mr. Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens to his pals), but he’s a bit wrong there … but, more importantly, a lot right.

Wrong in when writing, slaving over just the right word can, too often, grind the process to a halt. When I hit that speed bump I usually just put the word I know isn’t the perfect, ideal, and – yep – right I just highlight it so I know, when I look over whatever I’m writing I can come back and fix it later. The key to keeping up your flow is not just writing well but to keep writing. Period. It’s far too easy to let niggling details get in the way of where you’re doing, and what you’re saying: it’s far better to just keep at it and then come back and do some tweaking after.

But Sam (Mark Twain to everyone else) is damned right about the damned right word. It’s been a very strange trip, going from writer to editor and, now, to publisher: I see a lot of things I wish that writers would get into their heads – and, similarly, try to get into my own thick noggin. The number one has to be to show and not tell: in more words, rather than less, it’s far better to be evocative and imagination-feeding than completely, unarguably, accurate.

Let’s try something: the brown chair. Not much there right? We know it’s a chair, we know it’s brown. End of story. But what if I wrote, “the chair was the color of a well-worn dirt road”? Immediately you not just see the chair but might even feel a bit about it: the road, and it’s color, overlaid with an image what a chair like that might look like, feel like, smell like, etc.

It’s far better to conjure the chair, with magical language and imagery, than carry it onto the stage. You can so much with so little if you take the time to think of words, and language, that is evocative and alluring that unarguably precise. The same, naturally, goes with sex: rather than saying that, say, someone’s breasts were perfect, or conical, or whatever shape you’re thinking of, try, instead to say they were “happily rich and full, tipped by the inquisitive arousal of umber nipples.” Okay, that might be a bit too much but I think you get my point: the first was dull, boring – the second says so much more happily at that.

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