Dark Roasted Weird

Check it out: the fantastic Dark Roasted Blend just republished my meine kleine fabrik Welcome to Weirdsville: Oooops! post.

I don't know what to say -

- except thanks to Ann Regentin for this incredibly special Very Bloody Marys review. Check out the whole thing at the always great Erotica Readers & Writers Association site, but in the meantime here's an excerpt:

I don't review books very often. In fact, it might be better to say that I don't review books at all, and the reason is that I'm very picky. I spent a few years reading them for money—yes, you can do that if you're in the right place at the right time—and as a result, nothing surprises me. I don't care what plot or character you throw at me, I've read it before somewhere else.

Murder mysteries are the worst because I used to read them obsessively, and good ones, too, like Rex Stout, Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie. Unless the characters or setting really grab me, it usually takes three chapters to figure out who the killer is. A quick check to the end, and I'm done. I also don't much care for vampire stories, mostly because I don't find cold immortality particularly sexy. I prefer my heroes warm-blooded and human.

So what the heck was I doing reading a book called The Very Bloody Marys (Harrington Park Press; May 1, 2007), a gay vampire murder mystery? Even weirder, why couldn't I put it down?

Okay, I did put it down from time to time. I had to eat, shower, sleep, take care of my kid, that kind of thing, but for the most part, I read because in spite of covering two of my least favorite genres, it was a damned good book ....

[more]

Kathleen Bradean loves The Very Bloody Marys

Thank you, Kathleen, for this wonderful review of The Very Bloody Marys!

I've been indulging in a M. Christian reading binge lately. I finished his vampire tale, Running Dry (very good), and then slipped right into The Very Bloody Marys, his newest vampire story.

Valentino is a 200-year old rookie vampire cop who is fated to spend eternity as the screw-up assistant to undead drill sergeant cop and all around bastard, Pogue. That is, until Pogue mysteriously disappears. The powers (of the night) want Valentino to find Pogue and stop a rogue band of vampires who call themselves the Very Bloody Marys. The only problem is that Valentino has no clue what he's doing. He stumbles around San Francisco, making an unholy mess of the case, while sinister otherwordly beings manipulate him into doing their bidding. Valentino isn't as hopeless as he thinks he is though, and manages to find out what happened to his mentor, figure out who the real bad guy is, and take down the Very Bloody Marys.

The Very Bloody Marys isn't a story about being a vampire (although that's part of it). It's a good-ole gumshoe novel, a mystery with enough twists to keep me guessing and page-turning action. The characters were so original that it never felt like a rehash of vampire legend (thank god!). And the best part - this book supplied enough of a taste of otherworld San Francisco to pique my interest, but left me wanting more. Hopefully, M. Christian will do me a favor write another one. Soon.

Emily Veinglory likes Running Dry

What with all the hullaballoo (and, yes, that is a technical term) over The Very Bloody Marys I've almost forgotten I have another novel out there. The wonderful Emily Veinglory has a very flattering review of Running Dry. Check it out:

I am a somewhat disillusioned fan of vampire fiction. I have a few hundred vampire books and have read a few hundred more than that. The days when I would buy a book just because it was vampire fiction are long gone given the sheer quantity of them out there and the average quality, which seems to sink every year. In the last week I just happen to have read three vampire books over the last week or so and this one, 'Running Dry' by M. Christian, made me think: Oh, right. This is what I loved about vampire fiction all along.

And I should probably make clear is that we are not talking about bats, tuxedos and mock-European-accent type vampire cliches here. The very essence of the vampire mythos is having to take something from someone else to live, take so much that they die. That is the monster inside the man, that is the dilemma. Modern vampires who have immortality, angst and superpowers but no real down side to their state pale in comparison to this.

The basic story is about Doud, a conflicted man trying to reconcile what he needs to do to live his long life with his respect for human life. Shelly is his friend, a middle-age gallery owner who has to confront a few of her own personal demons when she finds out what Doud really is. And finally the story starts with the return of Doud's old lover Sergio who had every reason to want Doud dead. The kind of creature Doud really is would take a little long to explain. He needs to feed off others but his nature springs from the author's unique vision and has none of the surface features of the stock blood-sucking monster.

There really is very little to complain about in this book. I do think some of the events in the last third of the book could have been described at more length to help us setting into the twists and turns and to add pathos to the ending which could (should?) have had more emotional impact. But this is a quibble. The characters are likeable without being particularly heroic or virtuous (like real people). The story pulls you along with something new unfolding in every chapter. More than anything the writing is effortless to read, so it is more like watching the story through a window than wading through a swamp of words (this being the greatest difference between this book and the others I read this week). Based on my experience of M. Christian's writing so far (this book and his anthology 'Filthy') my main advice is this, if a book has his name on it you should buy it.

If you like fiction with gay themes their presence here is a bonus, but the reason to buy this book is because this book is good.

Welcome to Weirdsville!

If you haven't checked out meine kleine fabrik, check it out now: I've been posting some of my classic Welcome to Weirdsville columns up there. So far I've talked about the Hellfire Club, nuclear weapon boo-boos, kudzu, The Bucklands, and many more strange and bizarre things.

This week, for instance, I've posted a little piece about the fartist: Le Petomane.

Enjoy!

The Only Thing It Could Be Called: The Pussyfoot

As this was a bit too risque for meine kleine fabrik I decided to post it here rather than there.

From JT's Stockroom:

The SiFeet Pussy Foot is the ultimate fantasy sex toy for foot fetishists. This size 6, 100% silicone foot is cast in pure silicone from a real life actual, beautiful female foot. In the sole of this lovely foot is a fully functional and totally fuck-able silicone vagina.

This pure silicone foot is soft, smooth, and incredibly sexy. The toes are decorated with acrylic toenails painted glossy pink, making the Pussy Foot seem even more real.

From the toes to the heel and ankle, great time and effort has been taken to insure that the Pussy Foot seems real.

From Wikipedia:

Like other paraphilias, foot fetishism encompasses a wide range of predilections; one foot fetishist may be aroused by scenarios that another fetishist finds unerotic or even repulsive. Websites exist that cater to a number of specialized scenarios, including: women walking barefoot in the street with dirty soles or on uncomfortable surfaces such as hot pavement, feet pushing down on gas or brake pedals, feet crushing objects like balloons or toy cars, feet being pushed into mud or food, female foot torture (i.e. having the soles of their feet tortured or punished by whippings, hot wax, burnt with cigarettes, etc. see bastinado and falaka.

More ebay fun!

Here's your chance to pick up some great anthologies (many of which being out of print and/or rare) that just happen to have stories in them by yours truly. Check them out here. Keep going back, by the way, as I'll be posting even more in the next few weeks.

Thanks so much, Aaron!

The great Aaron of Aaron's Lavender Levithan has posted a couple of very sweet mentions for The Very Bloody Marys and Running Dry:

I just finished reading author, M. Christian's first novel RUNNING DRY and loved it! There have been many versions of what traits constitute a vimpire and M. Christian adds another cool, updated version to the list. My only negative comment is that the book wasn't long enough because, I didn't want to stop reading it.

I have since aquired M. Christian's newest novel, THE VERY BLOODY MARYS and it is currently waiting for me on my nightstand.

And here's the piece he put on his prints page - which are gorgeous:

I'm notorious?

Just had to share this little thing I stumbled on while (blush) googling Very Bloody Marys:

From the Lambda Rising Bookstore:

"I would highly recommend The Very Bloody Marys by a very famous and notorious writer."

(giggle) Very flattering. When do I get to see my wanted poster?

Being Lusty on Lust Bites

Following right behind my partner-in-all-things, Sage Vivant, I'm also going to have an interview up at the very cool Lust Bites site on Friday, June 8th. Be sure and check in throughout the day as I'll be answering questions in the comments area.

The Harrow Loves Very Bloody Marys

Coolness! Check out this wonderful review of The Very Bloody Marys by Dru Pagliassotti on The Harrow site:

Le Conseil Carmin is concerned. People are being killed on the streets of San Francisco by a gang of Vespa-riding vampires called The Bloody Marys, and the hard-assed cop the conseil had expected to investigate the crimes, Pogue, isn't answering his doorbell.

Which means the investigation must fall to Pogue's screwup of a deputy — the insecure, disrespected, nervously chattering vampire Valentino, who's painfully aware that he's in over his head and only hopes he can keep treading water until his boss returns.

Until a faery kills Julian, his one true love.

Suddenly, Valentino's out for vengeance.

Zombie taxi drivers, golems of Abraham Lincoln, a four-star restaurant in the city morgue, vampires, warlocks, fairies, ghouls, and angelic apparitions: they're all denizens of The Castro's other night-life, and Valentino must bluster his way through them as he hunts for a murderous faery, his missing dickwad of a commanding officer, and — of course — the pretty and ruthless Very Bloody Marys.

M. Christian has created a character with an unforgettable, if unceasing, narrative voice, an amusing and cliche-busting antidote to the overpopulated literary ranks of hardboiled vampire detectives. The world of Le Conseil Carmin, where vampires literally work for Blood Money and protect humanity from creatures much worse than themselves, is well-wrought; the plot twists, although initially baffling, all get satisfactorily straightened out; and Valentino, a less-than-enthusiastic member of Le Corps Policier Contre, has a self-conscious charm that will appeal to a broad spectrum of readers.

Fresh, quirky, and irreverent, The Very Blood Marys is a vampire novel for readers who've become bored with vampires.

A Great Amazon Review

Just had to share this delightful review of Very Bloody Marys that Amos Lassen posted to Amazon. Thanks, Amos!

The homoerotic nature seems to appeal to gay people. Anne Rice had a career based upon the blood sucking creatures until she turned to Jesus. Other vampire novels and movies have won us over but "The Very Bloody Marys" is M. Christian is headed to be our new favorite. Christian is a new voice in the field and he is unique and fascinating. His arrival on the vampire scene gives us an entire new way to look at the demons. He is funny and fierce at the same time and will keep you entertained throughout the 171 pages of his new book.

Christian is not new to the gay writing scene having been responsible for over fourteen anthologies and his short fiction has appeared in over 200 books as well as one novel and several collections. "The Very Bloody Marys", however, is about to become his breakthrough novel.

Christian is not new to the supernatural and horror genre and in this book he has mustered up all of his strengths and given us a wonderful read. San Francisco is undergoing major woes with a clan of Vespa riding vampires killing citizens without seeming cause and it looks like the city is about to go through a "dry spell" as they threatened to drain the place of blood. Valentino, our hero and a gay cop is undergoing training through a supernatural law enforcement agency, "Le Counseil Carmin" and is swept up into the whole blood-sucking business. When Pogue, his mentor, becomes missing, Valentino is called upon to rid the town of the menace but the "Bloody Marys" are very clever and very thirsty and Valentino must use all he knows and do so quickly or possibly be done away with himself. He realizes that in order to dispose of the vampires, he must go into areas he never dreamed of, deal with some very strange characters and learn what the mystery of them is.

This is not only a horror book but a romp which deals with many aspects of supernatural life. Apart from the vampires, there are also fairies and the undead and ghouls. The fear evoked by the novel often gives way to comedy and the mixture of the two is a wonderful way to spend some time reading. You embark upon a journey and a ride through the dark side of San Francisco and get a view of the tow you have probably never had before.

Christian gives us a whole new way of reading and I absolutely loved it. Almost equal amounts of fear and fun make this one of the books to be read this summer.