(compliments of my pal, John Montgomery)
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"He is a modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea's of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed
"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he over came them."
- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without an address on it?"
- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
